“Aww, do I really have to grow up?”
“Come on, Cornelius, it’ll be great! You might even impress a girl with your music!”
Welcome back to the Scatterday Matriarchy! This time around we start with a double birthday party for Cornelius and Reginald, who are becoming young adults. This update is a bit lengthy since I wanted to try to cram as much in as possible before Griselda becomes the heiress when she hits YA.
Quick recap: last time Griselda grew into a teen and I decided to name her as heiress! Woo!
“Eh, fine, I’ll get it over with as long as I can eat some pie afterwards.”
“Sounds good, brother!”
“…but I’m aging up first, even though I’m younger!”
“OH COME ON, REGINALD!”
“WOO! GO NEPHEWS!”
Shen was incredibly enthusiastic about his nephews’ birthdays.
Everyone eventually followed Shen’s lead and got into it.
“Thanks, Uncle Bennie! A deafening is just what I wanted!”
Everyone except Bennie squeezed into the same corner of the kitchen and glitched through each other despite there being plenty of room in the house.
“There’s no room anywhere!”
“Come stand by me, dude! Plenty of room over here!”
Bennie is clearly the only Scatterday with any sense.
Anyway, here is young adult Reginald! He rolled Neat as his final trait.
“Ugh, I don’t like this aging thing. I don’t want to grow up.”
Cornelius follows in the proud Scatterday tradition of not wanting to get older.
He eventually came to peace with it, though.
Here’s adult Cornelius! His new trait is Clumsy.
I also noticed this at the party. Bennie is a celebrity!
The party was otherwise uneventful. Poor Kristofer got sprayed by the sink which Griselda or Hortense had booby-trapped, Shen ate lots of cake, and people lined up to play on the water slide, like Cornelius and Reginald’s friend (Kathrine Lobos?) in her swimsuit back there.
“Augh! My hair is yellow! Hortense? Griselda? WHO DID THIS?!”
Pranking remains alive and well at the Scatterday house.
Auden rolled this wish, showing off her Fortune Sim side.
I totally miss Sims 2
No time for reminiscing about games I can no longer play! It’s time to get these boys graduated!
“AUGH! DYE! WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?!”
You live with two evil sisters, of course this is going to keep happening.
Also, this was an indication that the entire morning was going to go to shit. I tried to send everyone to City Hall for the boys’ ceremony but…it…didn’t happen.
The boys graduated in the kitchen instead.
“Why won’t you get in the car?”
“Because, Griselda, cars are boring. We should buy a rocket instead!”
“Ugh, shut up and clean up this dirty plate, Reginald. I’m getting a phone call here!”
And of course, Hortense and the proud parents are nowhere to be seen. *sigh*
WELL HE’S CERTAINLY LIVING UP TO THAT NOW!
And the valedictorian is peeing his pants! Wonderful!
Bright futures ahead, indeed.
“Brothers are stupid. Let’s go to the day spa instead!”
“I’d love to Gris, but Mom will kill us. She’s been super frugal lately…”
It took me a few minutes to find Auden. I still don’t know where Zhan ended up.
“Yeah, Alicia, the boys’ graduation sucked. We didn’t even make it to City Hall! I’m now hiding in the bathroom in shame.”
I would be doing the same if my son wet himself at his graduation.
Suuuuuure you are, Auden. Sure. You. Are.
To continue her hiding in shame, Auden decided to head to Egypt to get the last few pictures she needs for her LTW. She started by digging up a few artifacts.
Then she gossiped about some dead people….
…worked on her snake-charming skills…
…and then she discovered a new aspect of her sexuality!
Yup, Auden heartfarted a pretty Egyptian lady. Apparently she’s bi? Maybe this is more of the vacation destinations mucking up relationship data? Who knows.
(Sorry for the plumbbob in the shot, btw. There was no way to shoot the heart-farting without it being there.)
Anyway, the Egypt trip led to a discovery: Auden’s World-Class Gallery LTW was glitched! She had fulfilled all the requirements – ten pictures from the vacation destinations, collection worth 25,000 Simoleons – but the game wouldn’t recognize it as being fulfilled! I had her take a few more pictures to see if that would help it, but nothing. I eventually decided that in order for Auden to fulfill any LTW, she’d have to change it, so I used MasterController to change her LTW to Visionary, which she immediately fulfilled.
Fucking glitches. I may try World-Class Gallery with a different Sim later on to see if I can *actually* fulfill it, but for now this has to do.
Anyway, I forgot to give Cornelius and Reginald makeovers before Auden’s failed Egypt trip, so here’s Cornelius’ everyday, formal and swimwear outfits.
I forgot to get a picture of Reginald’s everyday, but here are his PJs and swimwear.
These boys ended up very attractive indeed.
“Reginald, is what I hear true? Did you really miss graduation and pee yourself?”
“Dad! Can we please not discuss it again?!”
“But you *did* pee yourself, right?!”
Reginald decided to get away from his dad and forget about his momentary incontinence by seeing a movie. He opted for Corduroy Sunglasses, but I’d have gone for the soon-to-be classic Werner Herzog film Esmond Scrimshaw: Hippo Wrestler, though Psycho Podiatrist also seems promising, especially as I watched a film called Psycho Pike recently.
With Reginald off at the movies and Griselda off reading somewhere, the remaining Scatterdays decided to have some TV time.
“Hortense, why are you watching Kitchen Nightmares? I thought you hated reality shows.”
“On the contrary, Cornelius. Reality television provides a fascinating window into the behaviour of everyday people and prompts one to consider how staged situations affect the so-called ‘reality’ presented to us. Also, this Amy woman is completely delusional and her husband Samy is probably affiliated with some sort of criminal gang. I like their style. By the way, why are you still wearing your graduation clothes?”
“…I want to bask in the glory of grad for a little longer.”
“Hortense, you should really be nicer to your brothers. They may not be geniuses like you, but they mean well.”
“I really try, Dad. I was very patient with Cornelius and only asked him a simple question. Now, I need to get back to gawking at the disgusting food Amy is serving Chef Ramsay.”
“Well, I guess…ew! Is that corn in ravioli? And how much grease is on that burger?!”
“Welcome to the Overthinking Kitchen Nightmares Club, Dad.”
“…and then Amy served Chef Ramsay this bizarre ravioli with corn in it. You would have loved seeing it, Mom. It looked like a pile of nuclear waste.”
“I’m sorry I missed TV time, Hortense, but can you please talk about something a little less nauseating at the dinner table? Your brother is looking nauseous.”
“Moooom, I’m not nauseous! I’m just savouring my….ugh…friend peanut butter and banana sandwich….”
“Sure you are, dear. Also why are you still wearing your grad robes?”
Reginald quite enjoyed the subtle nuances of Corduroy Sunglasses. He received an invite to his friend Janae McDermott’s party, so he decided to bring it up in conversation to appear “hip” and “with it”.
First he had to work up the courage to actually go inside.
He seriously stood outside the house for half an hour just awkwardly staring at the door. Poor, deluded Reginald. At least he didn’t pee himself again.
“Hi Janae! Thanks for inviting me to your party!”
“Ew! Don’t talk to me, commoner! You have no celebrity stars, and I have one. Come back when you can impress me!”
Yup, Reginald’s friend since childhood invited him to a party then refused to talk to him because she’s a *~*celebrity*~*. *sigh*
Reginald eventually won Janae over and gained a celebrity star, so things worked out!
Making some mac and cheese for everyone helped with the winning over.
Back at home, tensions were starting to develop.
“Hortense, how could you ever think that Samy is cool? He launders money and threatens customers!”
“Daaaaad, stop being so good! Laundering money is just something you have to do to survive in this economy! And those customers deserved to be thrown out!”
“OH GIRL, YOUR BOOBS ARE….GREAT….”
“Cornelius, do everyone a favour and either stop singing or get a thesaurus.”
“SHUT UP GRISELDA. YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND MY MUSICAL VISION!”
Eventually some folks left to cool off.
“Thanks for teaching me to drive at midnight, Dad.”
“You’re very welcome, Grissy. I figured we should get out of there before one of us smacked someone.”
Meanwhile, Cornelius found himself a fan! Following in the footsteps of the Scatterday men before him, she is an old woman! Hooray!
none of the men in this family are going to reproduce are they
Zhan’s drive with Griselda inspired him to spend more time not fighting with his family. A shuffleboard table would be great for some wholesome family entertainment.
Reginald returned home from Janae’s party very late, only to be woken up by a phone call. Cousin Homer wants a painting!
“Hahahahaha! Prom! I was King then! KING!”
Delirious from his lack of sleep and whatever drinks were at the party, Reginald laughed at his prom crown for a long while.
(The prom crown is on the kitchen floor because I have no idea where to put it.)
Meanwhile, Auden prepared a very toasty breakfast. Nobody burned their mouth, but there were some complaints of heartburn.
“So, honey, two of our kids are at school, one is at work, and the other is passed out. What would you say if I suggested some…shower fun now?”
“Hm. I guess I’d be down for it, Zhan. We haven’t had shower fun in a while.”
The poor shower never saw what was coming.
Griselda had a feeling that her parents might do some unspeakably horrible things during the day, so she opted to spend the afternoon at the library catching up on some reading.
Connor eyed the strange plant-like man with suspicion. “Who are you, and what do you want from me?” The green man raised his eyebrow. “My name is Creeping Vine, and I need your help. I need to pollinate someone before I die, and I must practice on a human.” Creeping Vine removed his tiny leafy trousers and revealed his gigantic gourd to Connor. Connor’s eyes widened – never had he seen a cucumber so large and green. Creeping Vine smirked. “Wait until you see what I can do with it.”
“Wow. Grandma Ainsley sure knew her way around a cucumber.”
Yup. Ainsley’s classic romance novel Connor and the Green Pleasure Rocket is now in the Riverview library, and Griselda has discovered it. Hopefully she’s old enough to not be traumatized by it.
“Hahaha yes! Homer is going to love the colours! Woo!”
Reginald’s post-party delirium hadn’t quite worn off when he set to work painting something for Homer, which is why he ended up with this demented Spirograph-looking thing. It’s actually kind of awesome the longer you look at it.
Hortense needed some time away from Zhan after their recent disagreements, so she visited Adria after school.
“Thanks for letting me come over, Adria. My dad has been bothering me all week! I really needed to get out of the house.”
“I feel you, Hortense! My parents have been bothering me all week to do something good for the community! Want to come with me to the soup kitchen and volunteer?”
“Wait, doing something good? No thanks, Adria. The very thought sickens me.”
Back at the main house…
“Augh! I really have to pee! Reg, how long is Cornelius going to be in the bathroom?”
“Well he’ll be getting out very soon, since we’re moving out! It’s time for us to find our own way in the world! HEY CORNELIUS! GET YOUR CRAP. WE’RE MOVING OUT!”
“Really Reg? You couldn’t have waited until I was done in the tub?”
Yup, it’s time for Cornelius and Reginald to move out and experience Riverview on their own! If they follow in their uncles’ footsteps, their Riverview experience will involve romancing old ladies and slowly advancing in their careers. Godspeed, boys!
“Woo! Bye boys! Come visit sometime!”
Auden was too busy on the water slide to see her sons off properly. A+ parenting, there.
“Auden, I’m worried about you. We haven’t spoken all day, you didn’t say goodbye to Cornelius and Reg when they moved out, and you’ve been on the water slide all day! What’s wrong? Did I do something?”
“Oh Zhan, of course you didn’t do anything wrong! I just found myself…drawn to the water slide, you know? And to make it up to you…”
“Eeeee! Flowers! Auden, you shouldn’t have!”
“That’s not all, Honey Bear…”
“No! You did something nice for me, so I’ll do something nice for you. Your back must be hurting after water sliding all day…”
“Well I suppose it’s…oooh….oh Zhanny, that feels marvelous!”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, Audie!”
“Well, that backrub was so amazing that I’m going to ignore that you called me the very uncool ‘Audie’. My next idea is something we can both enjoy. Remember when we bought this treehouse?”
“Yeah…the boys were already teens, Hortense didn’t use it, and Griselda only played in it a couple of times.”
“That’s right…don’t you think it needs to be…used?”
“It most certainly does!”
“Well let’s get to it then!”
The treehouse was once again filled with life, as Auden and Zhan spent some private time together, and Hortense and Griselda desperately tried to avoid looking out the window.
The sight of her childhood plaything being used as a sex-nest by her parents made poor Griselda ill.
Well actually it didn’t. She actually ate some leftovers that had gone bad.
Zhan didn’t come out of the treehouse unscathed either, but he believed the splinter was worth.
The next morning, some things needed to be clarified.
“Now Mom, I’m sorry for all of the booby traps I set around the house, but you really didn’t need to poison me with rotten leftovers and psychologically scar me by having loud sex in my treehouse.”
“Oh Griselda, I didn’t do any of that to punish you! Everyone just forgot about the leftovers, and your dad and I were just feeling frisky. I accept your apology though.”
“Great, because I really wanted to discuss Monet with you!”
“Ooooh, Monet! We have a lot of go through with him!”
Auden and Griselda’s Monet chat continued so late that Griselda missed the bus! She drove to school, Auden started playing on the water slide (AGAIN), and everything was cool.
However, Hortense, who also missed the bus as she was fishing for an opportunity, wasn’t let off the hook as easily.
“Hortense! How dare you skip school! Education is very important!”
“Dad, I was fishing for a science project! I was doing schoolwork and lost track of time! Griselda didn’t get in any trouble and she was just talking to Mom!”
“Nope, no excuses from you! Go do some chores to get back in my good books!”
“Ugh, stupid Griselda. Never gets in trouble. She’s just as bad as me! Why don’t they ever notice…”
“AAAAAHHHH! GRISELDA! DID YOU MAKE THE SINK SPRAY?! …why am I asking, of course she did!”
While Hortense took care of the leftover breakfast dishes, her parents had some time to themselves. Zhan had some fun on the water slide.
Auden painted a PG-13 version of The Birth of Venus for some reason. You’d think Auden would be all about the nudity, but apparently not?
It was a masterpiece and selling it inched Auden a little closer to her Earn $300,000 wish.
“Mom, I washed all of the breakfast dishes, took out the trash, and mopped up the puddles from the sink Griselda booby-trapped. Can I please, please be out of trouble now?”
“Well…you did sort of skip school today…”
“I made it eventually! And I was only, uh, very late because I was working on a science project!”
“Well, you did a lot around the house today, so I forgive you! Just please be a little more careful about checking the time, okay?”
“Really? Thank you so much Mom! I’ll try to be, uh, less evil in the future.”
“That’s all I ask of you, Hortense. Keep the evil to a respectable level, and all will be well.”
The peace in the house was short-lived though. When Zhan came in from his water-sliding, he couldn’t help but ream out Hortense.
“Hortense, how can you not support the Circle Party? They do so much to protect the peace around Riverview and their policies are so fair!”
“Dad, I don’t know what my political beliefs are yet! The Triangle Party is much more appealing to me now!”
“Zhan, lay off Hortense for a bit. She’s having a bad day…”
“Uh oh. I hear Dad yelling at Hortense again. Ugh, she’ll probably blame whatever it is on me. I think I’ll keep painting for now.”
You go, Griselda.
“The Triangle Party is in favour of destroying homeless shelters and stealing valuable art from museums! How can you possibly support them, Hortense?!”
“Dad, museums don’t need all that art…”
“Zhan, stop it. Now is not the time.”
“YOU’D SUPPORT THE TAKING OF CANDY FROM BABIES?! THAT’S IT! I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SAY THIS TO MY OWN DAUGHTER, BUT…BUT…YOU! HORTENSE AINSLEY SCATTERDAY, YOU ARE EVIL! EVIL I SAY!”
“Well Dad, I may be evil, but at least I’m not some goody-two-shoes WIMP like you are!”
“That’s it! I’m fed up with the two of you fighting! Zhan, go work out to cool off. Hortense, I’d like a word with you.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m trying to get along with him! I really am! I may be evil and want to help the Triangle Party steal art from museums around the world, but knowing that Dad hates me is…just…it really hurts.”
“I know you’re trying, sweetie. Your dad doesn’t hate you. He’s just…well…he’s very good, so it can be incredibly hard for him understand you sometimes. I’ll have a word with him. Now, why don’t you take your mind off this whole ordeal by doing something fun?”
“Sounds good! And…thanks Mom. I mean it.”
“You’re welcome, Hortense.”
“Hmm…maybe I’ll play some computer games for a bit. Griselda must have gone to bed since her painting is half-finished there…”
“Now let’s see…oh! Facesmasher 4! I haven’t played that in a while. Smashing faces will help me relax a bit.”
“Now where was the last level I played…”
“AUGH! WHAT THE FUCK?!”
“Hehehe, got you, Hortense!”
“GODFUCKINGDAMNIT GRISELDA! STOP PLAYING PRANKS ON ME!”
That’s everything from the main family for now, but I do have some updates from other folks around Riverview! I’ll be sticking these at the end of updates from now on to make things flow a little better.
Dean and Betty Simovitch got married! Congratulations!
Meanwhile, Bennie is going in the opposite direction and marrying a woman who is only a few days older than his oldest nephews! Congrats to the couple, and hopefully this means we’ll get some babies out of him!
Reginald’s friend Janae started dating an old dude, despite Reginald’s crap attempts at flirting with her at her party.
Kristofer got a girlfriend!
Homer got engaged! To a woman the same age as him! I think he’s the first Scatterday man to do this. Hooray!
Reginald did well for himself post-moving out, first by getting a job…
…then by dating an elderly woman, just like I thought he would. *sigh*
Homer had a brief fling with Luke here a few updates back. This ended as Homer is now engaged to a woman, but Luke has had no trouble moving on!
And…uh…Kristofer’s girlfriend is now apparently Tyson’s girlfriend? Okay then…
That’s it from the Scatterday family for now! Happy Simming!